ENTER A MAN IN A SUIT. THE MAN WILL BE A BORSCHT BELT COMEDIAN, DE KOONING, A WATERY GHOST, A PAINTING, CHRIST/JACK NICHOLSON. ALL LINES ARE HIS. STAGE DIRECTIONS ARE OFTEN SPOKEN. THOSE THAT ARE NOT SPOKEN ARE IN PARENTHESES.

““Dear Painting,” said my teacher, his eyes rimmed red, his breath a crystallized ointment for an unspeakable disease. He let his hand track the surface. “Dear Painting, I am better than my father, aren’t I? Please say yes.””